Losing someone you love is one of the hardest moments in life. On top of the emotional weight, families often find themselves suddenly responsible for decisions they were never prepared for—probate, wills, assets, debts, and questions that don’t have obvious answers.
I’ve helped many families navigate this exact situation, and the biggest mistake I see is this:
People try to do everything at once.
You don’t need to know everything today. But you do need a calm, clear understanding of what actually matters in the beginning—and what can wait.
Let’s break it down in a straightforward, non-legal way.
1. Your First Priority Is NOT Legal Paperwork
Despite what the internet suggests, you do not need to rush into probate on day one. Courts expect families to grieve, gather themselves, and get organized.
Your real first step is simply stability—making sure:
- Immediate needs are handled
- Important documents are safe
- No one starts taking or moving assets
- Family communication is controlled and calm
Most families skip this, and it leads to conflict later.
2. Find Out Whether There Might Be a Will — But Don’t Tear the House Apart
You don’t have to solve the entire estate in one day.
You just need a sense of whether:
- A will exists
- There might be one but no one has found it
- There is definitely no will (which is called “intestate”)
Each situation leads to a slightly different path, but none of them require you to make immediate decisions.
I walk families through this during my Companion Call because the will situation is usually more complicated than it looks.
3. Identify the Likely Heirs (Not Officially—Just to Understand the Landscape)
Every state has its own rules for who inherits.
You don’t need the final legal list right now.
You just need to understand:
- Who will probably be involved
- Who might have questions
- Who may challenge things later
This prevents surprises and arguments once probate begins.
4. Understand Which Assets Might Require Probate (Many Don’t)
People assume every asset must go through probate, but in many cases:
- Joint accounts
- Life insurance
- Retirement accounts
- Certain property …may transfer outside of the court system.
This is why the early stage is about clarity, not action.
My full bundles explain in detail which assets typically require probate and which don’t, because this is where most families accidentally waste time or make avoidable mistakes.
5. Don’t File Anything Until You Understand the Timeline
Probate is a process with multiple phases, and starting too early or in the wrong order creates delays.
It’s more important to understand:
- What the court expects
- The right order to take steps
- What must be included
- What NOT to do before filing
This is where families accidentally cost themselves months.
Why This Matters
The first days and weeks are about getting oriented, not rushing into legal work. When families slow down and get organized, everything goes smoother, cheaper, and with less conflict.
My role is to translate the probate system into plain English so you know:
- What matters today
- What can wait
- What needs attention
- And how to avoid the common traps that make probate harder
If you want help knowing exactly what applies to your situation, I’ve created three options:
- DIY Probate Beginners Guide – For families who can’t afford a probate attorney, or feel like they are capable of handling the knowledge-intensive process alone. I’ll give you an organized starting point.
- Probate Companion Call – a 60–90 minute Zoom meeting or phone call that culminates in an extensive deep-dive into your exact situation, with a personalized plan giving you all the tasks that need to be completed and a time frame goal for each task that doesn’t overwhelm you, but also gets the tough task of probate completed.
- Full Probate + Companion Service – for families who want structured guidance that includes a custom 30-60 day plan that allows your attorney to handle the legal side of your family’s estate while I help you complete all tasks your attorney has given you on the family side. Perfect for families who already have an attorney who isn’t as good with communication as you would like. I witness this firsthand more than I care to admit.
You don’t have to figure this out alone. Your first steps matter, and getting them right makes the entire process easier.
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